Finally

Finally.

Spring finally showed up. Saturday I came home from work and there was a warmth in the air that was different than the day before. The birds were chirping with just a bit more life and the sun shone just a bit brighter.  As Granny would say, "It's like Heaven!"

Grandpa and I loaded up the Toyota with the ply-wood that Uncle Dave had salvaged from the neighbor's garbage pile a couple months back. It was quite the sight. Grandpa and me putting these really heavy, awkward sheets in the truck, and then me tying them down with the same shitty rope that Grandps has had for thirty years. I tested the one piece I thought looked like it'd actually hold up and felt good about it. I packed up a back pack with my ski clothes and a few other odds and ends and headed out to pick up the lovely young woman that came into my life two weeks ago- Caroline. Destination: Sandpoint.

We made a quick stop at the Co-op and picked up a little snack  and hit the road about 7:00 pm. And what an evening to be on the road (that road in particular). The sun going down over the rolling hills of the Palouse still sprinkled with snow- couldn't have been more beautiful (or "beauty-full" as Granny would say). We prettty much vacillated between silently admiring the ending of Winter so perfectly punctuated by this long, warm Sunset and chatting about our funny families. Seems to be the theme these days. The two and a half hours flew and all of a sudden we were at Dave and Janeens' place. 

It being 9:45, I figured they'd be in bed, and we'd just quietly sneak into the Loft and see them in the morning. But as we were unloading, there was Janeeno out on the porch calling us in to come say hello. We came in and had a cookie (well, I did) and some water and just chatted for a bit. Caroline had a real twinkle in her eye getting to see the simple organic elegance that is Dave and Janeens' place. And it was great to be with someone who's never been there before because I was more aware of just how truly amazing and beautiful that place is. Even now, I think of all of the times that that place has been this stabilizing, calming rest stop during the rollercoaster adventures of my life. I told Caroline before we pulled in that it's a sacred place (not that I needed to actually say that). It was nice to truly experience that again...in some ways for the first time. Thanks Dave and Janeen.

So now I'm sitting here back in Moscow on a gorgeous Spring day- Granny is chatting at me and doesn't recognize that I've got my headphones on and am attempting to escape into my music while I write this. Sorry for the abrupt segue way- Granny has been having one of those mornings where she really feels the need to free associate and boss everything in sight around and around. Truth be told- I got up from writing because all of this is still really hitting me hard and I started crying and felt called to just go and sit and hug and cry with her. So I did. And this morning has been yet one more reminder of the beautiful and mystifying blend of joy, sadness, hilarity, and absurdity that is my relationship with grandmother Mary Nell. 

She and I sat together while I rubbed her legs and she telling me about the pictures from the family reunion from last August. She's so connected to her family. The touching part of our time together this morning was remembering all of the different people she has met and the bittersweetness of having uprooted from family and having lived most of her life away from them.  She told me a story she has told me several times before about having to leave her friends in Vancouver. It's clear that that was a difficult move for her (and I'm sure that you all have more direct experiences with her in regards to that period of time)- and it's just interesting to me that it really has stuck with her. That is the sadness and some sort of guilt at not having been able to tell these women she'd apparently cared for that she was moving to Moscow. 

Now the truly beautiful part of our chat was listening to her describe have overcome the mental and emotional hurdles in her way. For her, coming here wasn't easy. And, as we all know, change for Grandma is NEVER easy. I mean, she can't stand if I wash the dishes from left to right. In fact, when I got up this morning, I started to get a sermon on regular hair washing (which I quickly squelched). Anyhow, she talked about having grown up on a farm; free and without traffic, shopping malls, and too many damned people (she didn't say that).  And she talked about how much she  (as we all know) has grown to love Moscow for  a lot of the same reasons she loved where she grew up. I don't know that I ever truly connected the dots with that until this morning with her. I saw how the great circle of life has come 'round for Grandma and how, whether be it from God, Fate, Allah, the Universe, she has a sense of destiny and acceptance about this place.  What a gift.

Well, it's 11:20 am and I've got to get ready for the Tristate countdown. I've got exactly 5 more shifts left at Idaho's Most Interesting Store. I think that may be the only part of my life right now that, when I think of it, doesn't start to get me all teary and emotional. Although selling shoes at Tristate has been a dream fulfilled (thanks Mom)- I can say with absolutely no reservation- the dream has been fulfilled. Funny part really is just how amazingly opportune and fortuitous this job has been. It's provided absolutely everything I needed in a job: low stress and consistent but flexible hours. I couldn't have asked for anything more. 

I went for my usual run this morning after my chat with Granny. And I had this feeling come into my body that was a blend of warmth, joy, release, and sense of big things to come. 

Spring is here...

Finally.