Getting Adjusted and Connected

It's Thursday night and it's almost 9:30pm.

I have been reading about attachment theory and its potential researchable application to healthy romantic relationships for the past 3 hours approximately. I did drink a couple of beers while doing said reading. Then I really started to generate some ideas for my pre-dissertation. I can't believe that after a week of school, I am actually somewhat specifically formulating ideas for the thesis I must complete by the end of year 2. Holy poop.

The truth is that I am still figuring out the rhythms of being a graduate student, living on my own, and learning to deal with the balance of work, rest, being social, and being alone. My goal has been to be productive enough during the hours of 9am-5pm that there's nothing I NEED to do when I get home. Well, I'm trying. The reality is that somedays I'll have things to work on when I get home.  The other reality is that today I was totally distracted and undisciplined with my balance of socializing and focusing on school work. Like I said- I'm trying.

The good news continues to be that I've got a couple of great folks in my program and we have a thing. Like an understanding. Nikki and Justina. They're great. We spent our first office hours (Thursdays from 1-3pm for any of you with questions regarding the psychological field) together, trying to be productive. It's just nice to feel some sense of connectedness to a couple of the people that I'll be spending the next 4 years with. 

Speaking of connectedness, as of tomorrow morning, I will have internet in my apartment. Meaning I will no longer be hoping that the neighbor's wifi is strong enough for me to check email, chat with folks, and, most importantly, update my Facebook page. But seriously, I'm happy to announce that I will be connected here at the apartment. 

Lots of love to you all

 

First Week Update

Sitting here in my apartment with the smells of my first baking attempt filling the air, waiting for my first guests to come over, and feeling so grateful to be here. 

I can't believe that it's already been a full week. In many ways it feels like way longer. During the course of this first week I have managed to get my apartment filled with enough things to make it feel lived in (though tonight's adventure in the kitchen made me want to buy at least one real chopping knife), get to all of the classes and meetings I needed to be at (granted some of them I wasn't exactly on time for), get some homework done, and start building some relationships with people I hope will be not only great people to study and train with but good friends as well. 

All in all- it has been a great week. I really like my advisor Brent (he was described by someone outside of the program who met him as a big teddy bear- with which I agree). The six other students in my program are a great mix (a gal named Gaa- Hee from South Korea, a young man named Philip from Germany, a gal from Saint Lucia named Nikki, a gal from U at Albany named Justina, a gal from Indiana named Amber, and a great gal from NYU named Nikki)- great diversity with young folks straight outta undergrad, 3 folks with Masters, and clearly some very real ethnic diversity as well. We have the opportunity to have some great discussions. We feel like a good group.

Anyhow- tonight I'm just feeling grateful to already have Nikki from NYU and her great husband (with whom I played tennis yesterday) over to my place for dessert and drinks. I am grateful for this amazing opportunity that I have been given. I look forward to the first full week.

Calm Before the Storm, Last Week's Wanderings, And Present

Yesterday we had our program orientation. Tomorrow is the first day of class. I'm taking care of little details today and enjoying the calm before the storm. I'm really excited because I've already made friends with one of the husbands in my program (his wife Nikki is in my cohort)- and he's a tennis coach. We are hitting today at one o'clock. Tonight the student leadership from the psych department have organized a night of drinks and conversation at a spot downtown. Should be a mostly relaxing day.

I'm proud to say that my apartment looks pretty good and settled. Granted, I did notice that I left some of the stickers on the pots I bought from Target that I used to cook last night (not to mention that I have like 5 plates, 4 bowls, and still need a bookshelf...but hey, it's me. I mean, I have all the things I need and I'll add things as they come. 

I promise to take pictures of the place for you all to see- I just haven't fully figured out the camera yet. That is to say I've not been to a store to get the piece necessary for connecting the camera to my computer. But they'll be coming soon.

Last week I was waking up in Bozeman, MT after my first full day of driving. Today I am returning the Uhaul here in Knoxville. Holy poop. Here are a few of the little highlights/hilarities/classic Ike moments from the trip:

1. Monday, August, 10th 8:35 am in Moscow, Idaho: Left nearly an hour later than I had planned (classic) and realized at the gas station that I had forgotten my sunglasses in Atlanta with Phil and Ali. Attempted to buy cheapos at the Conoco with no success (complete dearth of large head options). Decided to drive Hwy12 to Missoula as it is such a beautiful stretch of road and such went towards Lewiston. Stopped at Flying J (which brought back all kinds of memories) took a pee and bought some sweet large-headed aviators. Started down the ole familiar Hwy 12 to the ole familiar smell of pulp mill- mmmmmm.

Drove past Orofino and stopped in at the city park to take another pee. Seriously- I have a squirrel's bladder (plus I had a lot of coffee). Said a little prayer of gratitude to Orofino for having been such a great place to grow up. Then I got the hell out of there.

My plan was to have lunch with Easton in Missoula around 12:30pm. It was 10 o'clock as I was rolling out of Orofino. I thought- "it'll be closer to 1pm- but I can just shoot her a text." Well I forgot three important things. One- Missoula is an hour ahead. Two- Highway 12 doesn't have cell reception...the whole way from Kamiah to 8 miles outside of Missoula. Three- Hwy 12 is slow and it's even slower when there's construction. Those three things added up to equal me showing up on the other side of the mountains, finally in cell range, after a circa 4 hour trip, eight miles outside of Missoula...at around 2:30pm Mountain Time. Shit. Easton sent me a very appropriately curt and confused text...something to the effect of- "I hope that you are still alive-wherever you are. I can't stand wasting such a beautiful day waiting around inside- so I'm heading out. Gimmee a ring to let me know that you are alive." Shit.

So I let her know I was alive and that I was clearly the same ole forgetful shitball (I'm hoping to do some good work on this habit during grad school). Then, I realized that, though I'd hoped for a nice relaxing time in Missoula (going for a walk down by the river and catching some lunch with a friend), because of the current time situation, I needed to pick up something quick and hit the road. I had planned to be having dinner with friends in Bozeman. Shit.

I hit up the "Break"- where almost two years ago to the day, I serendipitously met Josh Olson and more or less got my job at Three Rivers Montana. Scored a strong cup of coffee and bagel sandwich, and, of course, took a pee. Back on the road.

I pulled into Bozeman, somehow, exactly per my estimate- 6:30pm. Sometimes I'm on time. Pulled into the Heeb's parking lot and picked op a bottle of wine for dinner with my hosts. Justin, Kari, and their two hilarious and handsome kids- Marley (3 1/2) and Freia (2) were gracious and fun. We got caught up on all the good stuff and Justin and I even got to have a couple of great games of ping pong out in the garage. 

Went to the Nova Cafe with my ole Three Rivers crew- Colter and Hannah. Was good to see the two of them. Colter brought his girlfriend Erika whom I'd gotten to know pretty well during my stay in Bozeman as well, and we had a nice time drinking coffee and catching up. I walked with Hannah back to her new apartment (just across the street from my old place) and poked my head over at my old neighbor's Marty and Dana. Their littlest (now much bigger than the last time I saw him), Kai, was naked (no different than last time I saw him) and wandering around outside the house with no one in sight (also no different than usual). I asked Kai if he remembered me, to which he responded with a clear but confused smile, "yes"- though clearly he didn't. Cute. Anyhow- turned out Dana was downstairs wrestling with Bryce in the tub- and Kai led me inside to find them. Dana and I had a great time hanging on the back porch reminiscing and getting caught up. 

Took a nice run up on Pete's hill. Took a great shower at Justin and Kari's. Had some lunch with the host fam and hit the road. Bozeman was sunny and beautiful as always. Nice to remember how powerful and important that place was for me during this last chapter of my life. This was the place that I found myself again. I said a little prayer of thanks to the people and places who helped me with that process (Jens, Tina, Three Rivers, the Mountains). 

2. Billings:

I pulled into Billings around 5:3o pm. Miraculously, I found my way right to my good friends' Adam and Sarah's place without directions. I'd been there before and sort of used a blend of intuition and dead reckoning based off of landmarks. Sweet.

I snuck in a delicious nap before Adam showed up to take me to the barbeque his in-laws were putting together. We got caught up on the drive over and marveled at how much can happen in such a short time. When last we saw each other- his oldest, Nora, was barely walking around. Now, she is running, and she has a brother. We had a ton of fun at Granny and Grampy's place- I got to play with Nora and little Erik. I got to catch up with Sarah, her sister Mary (who also went to PLU), and get caught up. We headed home early for the little ones which was OK with me. I had to hit the road early.

3. Moorhead:

I had planned to drive all the way to Minneapolis to visit Bradley. When I pulled into Bismarck at 6pm and realized I had about 5 more hours and I was starting to hallucinate from sleep deprivation- I threw in the towel to the road gods, drank a stiff cup, and did my best to get to Moorhead. Got a cheap Super 8 motel and had a great night's sleep. 

4. Waupun:

Pulled in here and was greeted so sweetly by my great aunt Ardell. Had dinner with her and her ailing husband Milon (he's hooked up to oxygen- was a cigarette smoker for a long time). Had a great sleep, delicious brunch with all of Granny's siblings (save Byron) at Ruth Ann's (she put up a serious spread), and had a classic tour of Brandon and Fairwater with Grandpa Gordy's childhood buddy Ralph Dammerau. Milon drove us around which was its own adventure as he is pretty frail and I don't think should be driving. I had a great time cruising through these sleepy little towns and seeing where Grandpa's church, house (used to be), and favorite play places (the mill pond) were. 

5. Super 8:

I left Wisconsin after a nice lunch of pizza with Ardell's beautiful great granddaughters. The two youngest (Abby and Amaya) were curious in my van and they came outside while I was rearranging my packing- they were sooooo cute. It felt so nice to have seen and experienced the small town Wisconsin life that I've heard so many stories about from Granny and Grandpa. Anyhow- I hit the road around 1pm and made it to Indianapolis around 10pm (one final time zone passing). I staid in a Super 8 in Moorhead as well- and I must say that for the price- it's just right. I will also say that I was so excited to finally be here in Knoxville that I didn't sleep real well that night. But the free HBO special on Segregation in Southern Football Programs was very interesting.

6. Knoxville, TN:

I didn't leave my beloved bed at Super 8 until around 10 am. So I hit the road about 10:30 am and drove the beautiful miles through Kentucky and on into Tennessee from the north on I-75. Coming into Tennessee, it was quite remarkable just how lush and verdant the Smokies looked. I found the local bluegrass station and enjoyed taking in this new scenery with the appropriate music. I pulled into my new place about 5:30 pm. Home at last. Felt so good to finally be here, not worried about driving long days, and to start things up. I called one of the third year students who I'd been assigned as my mentor student and asked if he had time and energy to help me with a quick unpack- Aaron obliged me. 

Took us about 45 minutes to introduce ourselves. Took about 30 minutes to unpack. Aaron is a great guy. I could tell right away we'd have a good time together. I offered to by dinner as per his services- and he knew a great mexican place within walking distance from my place. We had some decent Mexican food, good beer, and fun conversation. It was a great way to be welcomed into town.

I am writing this on Thursday. I have now been here for 5 full days and am still figuring out this game they call grad school. I continue to be impressed with just how encouraging, kind, and supportive the environment is in my program. I've already got a few connections with folks that I can tell will be amazing classmates and fun friends too. I can already tell that these blogs will be becoming much shorter and more sporadic in nature very soon-there's a lot to get done with all this school stuff. I will tell you all right now that I will be purchasing a Blackberry. How about that? But I'll be doing my best to keep ya'll updated as best I can. 

Holy Poop I'm in Indianapolis

It's amazing how far you can drive if you put in eight hour days for 5 days in a Uhaul moving van.

I'm writing this from a Super 8 motel about 10 miles west of Indianapolis (which my Dad described as a "hole"). I'll have more objectivity about that particular assessment tomorrow in the morning- nonetheless- I'm grateful for being here.

I've got enough stores from the last 5 days of this adventure to justify a much lengthier blog than I have energy for. But I know that my mom (who is riding her bike through Europe for the next 6 weeks- way to go mom!) uses this thing to make sure I'm still alive. So, mom, I'm alive.

I actually feel pretty good after a restful and enjoyable stop in Waupun, WI to my Grandma Mary Nell's darling family. I got to see nearly all of her siblings and meet many of their great grandchildren as well. I had a nice brunch with all of them, followed by a tour of the tiny towns Grandma and Grandpa grew up in. I got to see the two farm houses Granny grew up in. I got to see the plot where Grandpa's house used to be and the Mill Pond where he used to swim with the Dammerau boys. 

Anyhow- I just wanted to write a quick blurb and say that I am safe and mostly sound. I will be in Knoxville, TN tomorrow in my new home!!!! Keep me in your prayers and thoughts. Almost there.

What a trip.

More to come.

Hot, Hilarious, and How Things Go From Here

We just moved my Grandparents into their new place at Good Samaritan village. Uncle Dave and Aunt Janeen showed up last night; two dudes from Good Sam came at 10 to 7 this morning to pick up a few items in the basement to take to the annual Good Sam garage sale; Aunt Jeanne and Dave Dacar came this morning around 8 am to join the 5 or so other friends and neighbors who graciously volunteered their time and backs for the move. Grandpa thought we'd be done at noon. We had everything unloaded and were eating watermelon at 11 am.

I am sitting at One World Cafe in retreat from the stress of the unpacking process not to mention the near 100-degree heat. I'm kinda stunned at how relatively smoothly the last few hours went.  Grandma was, as I expected, pretty agitated and stressed out by all of the activity (not to mention having very little say in any part of this particular part of the moving process). When I got up- she was all over me for not helping before drinking my morning coffee. Of course she was up at 5 am- anxious to get things done and over with. Despite having slept like a big piece of poo myself- I applied all of my acquired Mary Nell-neutralizing zen (which is more or less focused ignoring of her word salad blended with calling out the egregiously inappropriate behaviors- like saying "that's really mature" to her throwing towels at me because I wasn't helping the way she wanted). And though Jeanne also reported some Mary Nell malice, it could've been a lot worse I think. 

Anyhow- everything is out of 489 Paradise Dr. and either in 617 Einsenhower (or in the Garage). That is, everything except all of my crap (which is in the basement storage area at 489).  Just looking at it all compiled in one place- it actually looks like enough stuff to fill an apartment (and more pressingly- a Uhaul). I may actually have to ditch a few things to get it all to fit into the 10 footer that I have reserved for August 9th. Strange and serendipitous that my move should coincide with Gordy and Mary Nell's. I am so thankful to have enough things to more or less show up in Knoxville and NOT have to run around looking at garage sales, craigslist, and thrift stores. 

I am spending one last night here in Moscow tonight (interestingly over at the old place- it was sleep on the couch at the new place or on my bed at the old place). I am hopping the Dirty Dog (Greyhound) for Spokane, WA tomorrow at 2:30 pm and spending the night with Joel before flying out to Seattle on Monday for the week. I am so excited to have 5 full days to see my dearest friends out there before heading out east. I'm carpooling back to Spokane with my buddy Michael Fox and his girlfriend Brooke on Friday. We're planning on an overnight in the Leavenworth area that night and then they'll drop me off at the Gorge on Saturday for Phish. That's right- I'm going to catch Phish at the Gorge with Jens Norman Olsgaard and Joel Edward Soden. Look out. It's going to be a riot. 

Then, on Sunday morning, when we get fried out of our tent at the Gorge-  the three of us hosers will drive back to Spokane. I pick up my Uhaul in the early afternoon and drive for Moscow to load things up in the cool of the late afternoon and early evening (hopefully it's cool). And then I'll crash with Granny and Gramps that night, and then hit the road bright and early on August the 10th. Holy Poop-one adventure after another. 

This morning- after a poopy night's sleep, being immediately attacked by Grandma's anxiety, not to mention thinking about all of the little details of final packing, making my own next big move, and generally worrying about how it will all come together- I was feeling stressed. Sitting here after a successful morning of moving, a satisfying last trip to the Goodwill and Recycling center- I feel reassured and am reminded of one of my favorite Tom Petty lyrics from my favorite Tom Petty Album (Wildflowers)- "most things we worry about, never happen anyway".