After putting in some quality time with Grandma this morning so that Gramps could go to Church, I needed badly to get out of the house. It's been one of those mornings. Granny seems to be having more bad days than good ones. She takes a long time to "wake up" in the mornings. That is she doesn't seem to have the capacity for anything resembling thought until about 10:30 am. Although I think this could be said of her for the last 10 years. And then when she does finally wake up, she starts in with complaints of pain, dizziness, and just feeling out of it. When she feels like this, she clings ever closer to Gramps.
Good news this morning was that I didn't have to a work a Sunday for the first time since I've been here. This meant that Gordy could actually go to Emmanuel today- which he loved. He mentioned to me that people were giving him hugs as he showed up. He also mentioned that he snuck out as quickly as he could afterward to avoid said hugs as they were making him too emotional. You all know how quick to cry Gramps has always been- now it's even quicker. The good news is I think, in some small way, both he and Granny are better able to just cry in the moment and not let it build up so much. Like I said- they're getting better. The other good news is that we have had some very candid and relatively cogent conversations on topics ranging from faith to caretaking (Granny mentioned specifically that Ruth Ann might want to come and be her caretaker) to resolving conflicts in the house. I think there's a healthier sense of talking about things as they come up than were Granny and Gramps to be completely on their own. With this new openness, both of them have been sharing more and more stories from their lives...specifically from childhood.
I was somewhat blown away yesterday, when during my lunch break Grandpa started talking about how he NEVER believed he would go to college. And he proceeded to tell the story of how his pastor got him to go to Wartburg and then to the Seminary. At one point he said, "All I knew about going to college was that you needed two things: money and smarts. And I didn't have either." He got teary bringing it up. I was touched. And he kept talking about working hard through college, supporting himself, and the harsh reality of his family "support" (specifically in the form of a twenty dollar bill from his dad- all he got from the family for college). Talk about another much needed dose of reality for me. I sat there admiring the enormous strength of spirit in this small and simple man. I was so proud to be his Grandson.
Grandma as you know is a different story. She doesn't share as much nor as easily. But, as I did mention, she started talking to me about that Ruth Ann had expressed some desire to come and be her caretaker at some point down the road. I was blown away by two things here. One, that she was even openly bringing this topic up. Two, that she, after some prodding by me, seemed like she could be open to that possibility at some point. And who knows the reality of that situation materializing, but for Grandma to be talking rationally about somebody taking care of her- huge.
So as I spend more time with my Grandparents and truly know their stories, better understand what they have experienced, and more clearly appreciate how truly transcendent (relative to their generation, background, and upbringing) their lives have been. Here they are- two kids from rural Wisconsin who have lived in three different parts of the country, traveled to the Middle east, Europe, and finally found "paradise" in Moscow, Idaho. Not bad when you think about that most from both of their families haven't seen nor done even close to that. I guess I have never really fully appreciated all that they have done with their lives.
This brings me to my most recent serendipitous encounter at Tri-State (Idaho's Most Interesting Store)- my wonderful place of work. I'm straightening in the aisles and notice a woman with black hair who I instantly recognize: Gwen Lyons. I walk up to her and say, "Gwen Lyons; Ike Brandt." She takes a second to sort through the recognition files in her brain, and after a few blinks, comes up with the correct folder. "Oh my Gosh," she says, "I haven't seen you since you were a little boy!"
We chatted in the aisle for about twenty minutes. She caught me up to speed with that she is no longer Gwen Lyons, but rather Gwen Mitchell (I think this is right). She and Roger divorced several years ago and she is now remarried. Sadly, she informed me that Tyler has been through hell the past 10 years. He, at one point, was addicted to Oxycotton. He and the family went through all of the horrors that go along with an addict's behavior: stealing, lying, and trouble with the law. Thankfully, he has been sober for 3ish years, and is married to a woman who stuck with him through the hardest of the hard times. Ironically, Gwen works at a Practicum site for the WSU Counseling Psychology Program (to which I've applied) and does assessment work with school children. She was incredibly wise, intuitive, and easy to chat with. Another reminder of just how blessed my life, and strangely enough, my work at Tristate is. She reminded me before we parted how lucky I am to have Gordy and Mary Nell as my Grandparents. She made sure I knew that her kids still talk about them both as their own. She mentioned that she had stopped by 489 Paradise Dr. last week (while I was gone) just to say hello. And I asked her if she thought we were doing what is right for Mary Nell. She said, "If you are being loving and kind to her, that's all you can do." We hugged and said goodbye. Such an unexpected moment of beauty.
So here I am back to reality...or my version of it. Sitting here looking out the window the sun, I'm smiling because there's another Gloria Estefan song playing. Talk about perfect full circle. I hope all is well with all you folks who are crazy and patient enough to read this. I love you all and always appreciate little posts on the blog. Thanks mom for yours.
Peace and Love to All
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