Every Friday I find myself struggling with what to do in between my hours at the counseling center (8-11am) and then the beginning of colloquium (2pm). Today's been especially tough because of my current cold/general low energy. I walked outside for a while. I called a friend. And then I realized, I need to just go sit down someplace quiet, warm, and write.
So here I am- looking out the window in Rm 308 of the psych building, listening to the Avett Brothers on pandora, and writing. The sun is out in full force today. It's still somewhat chilly (it was that biting type on the walk in to the counseling center this morning), but the sun makes it feel warm and welcoming. It has been a much longer winter here than folks are used to. We had a taste of spring over the weekend (it was 65 degrees on Sunday)- which got everyone excited. But then it snowed two days ago!? Locals here tell me that one or two days of snow are typical in an average winter in Knoxville. We have had well over that. People here are bitter.
I'm trying not to be one of the bitter folks. I'm trying real hard. And truth be told, I think I'm just a lucky shit in the sense that the cold doesn't bug me so much. As long as the old sun's around, I'm alright. But don't get me wrong, I'm ready for spring.
Spring is magic. Spring is resurrection. Spring is redemption. Spring is hope. Spring is growth. Spring is so much and is so because of coming out of Winter. I know I'm treading into well-trodden (not to mention dangerously cheesy) territory here, but I really feel how all of the things that spring is cannot exist apart from the coldness, darkness, and deadness of winter. And though I know enough about climate change and bogusness of "everything happens for a reason" kinds of thinking (these things are dangerously related of course)- I try to stay in tune with the rhythm of the seasons. That is, even though I would love to have spring come yesterday, I have winter, and I ask myself- what is there in me that is still not fully ready to be brought to life? What, if I can be quiet and still enough, can I learn from this current season?
Can you tell that I'm a therapist in training?
Here are a few appreciations that winter has given me:
- Intentionally creating warmth in my life
-The need for solitude
-The difficulty of sitting with loneliness
-Doing the things you love no matter what
-Down comforters
-Hot coffee
-The calming and quieting effect of snow
-The importance of faith
-The importance of community- whatever it may look like
-The difficulty and necessity of asking for support
-The paradox of the strength and delicate nature of human spirit
-The paradox that we will always need others yet we must take time to be OK with being by ourselves
-Gloves
-Having grown up in a place that gets enough snow to not only
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