Some people love them. Some people hate them. Some people go all out. Some people do everything they can to avoid drawing any extra attention to themselves. Clearly these are the ends of the spectrum. Surely there are people in the middle and everywhere in between.
Myself- I'm clearly more toward the loving attention side of the spectrum. But I also don't really like making the day into some sort of big deal. Birthdays for me are- to use a horrible and problematic analogy- a bit like christmas. I'm not really into celebrating all the christian traditions and all that. But I am into having a time that is set aside for being together as a family, with friends, and sharing gifts with each other. Plus I looooove egg nog. Seriously, why don't they make that stuff year round?
Anyhow, birthdays, for me, are this consistent, concrete reminder to give thanks for the most basic and profound gift of all, reflect on all that has happened in the year past, and to take time to dream about the year to come. I apologize if I am starting to sound like Dr. Phil. But I am, as you all know, prone to cheesiness (not to mention distractibility...hey...look- shiny). Birthdays.
One of the most basic aspects of birthdays is the significance and meaning we attach to certain numbers. The first birthday is a big deal; the first full year of life with all of the amazing developments that come with is something to celebrate (just hopefully not with the level of extravagance and disgusting materialism that can turn something precious into something vomitous- sorry...distractable and judgemental). And each of the first few years are important as they mark major milestones in the healthy development of a person. I think that after 10, most kids stop being excited about birthdays in the same way they stop getting excited about Santa Claus.
At 13- we become teenagers- that's like a totally big deal and stuff. Now, we are like totally mature and cool and stuff. Then when you turn 16, it's like you totally need to make sure that you've kissed someone (at least that's what I remember- probably because I remember hearing that and making a concerted effort not to be the lame-o who still hadn't kissed a girl at age 16). Then when you turn 18, that's a big one right? At 18 we are bestowed with the paradoxical power to enroll in the military, legally buy pornography, smoke cigarettes, and, oh yeah, vote (not necessarily in that order). Of course 21 is the next big one. What a great milestone right? Now you can legally get hammered. I think that's pretty much it with 21. After 21, the milestones become a bit more spread out.
There's no real ceremony or ritual assigned to 25, but I think it has some significance for most people even if only as a mile-marker- at this point you are half-way through your awkward twenties and, realistically, you have lived more than 1/4 of your life. Othern that, not much to say about 25. But now we get to 30. 30 is a big one for most. 30 means all kinds of things. 30 means if you haven't gotten your shit together by now, you might just never. 30 means you should have an established career; a lasting relationship (if not marriage- right Grandma?); if the former is working out well, some little ones; for sure you should own a home, condo, something that you can call your own. What else? I think that's about it. Basically- like I said- you should have your poo in a nice neat organized pile and now just exactly how you plan to use said poo.
After thirty, meaning is measured by units of ten. 40 is the next important number. Followed clearly by 50, 60, 70, and 80. Once you get to 80, meaning once again is measured year by year.
If you make it to 90 and you aren't either drooling on yourself continually, consistently forgetting who you are and who the hell all these people are who keep making you eat and wash and all that, as well as no longer possessing the ability to control your poops (i'm sorry- but isn't poop just such a great word?). And for the extreme few, there's 100- the centenarians (sounds like some sort of greek name for a mythological creature- and sort of rightly so).
I turned 28 on Wednesday. I like 28. I'm not totally into the numerology thing, but 28 just seems so different than 27 for me. 27 feels significantly younger; even though it's numerically closer to thirty- it feels experientially closer to 25. And I think everyone can agree that 25 is young. Ok, now I'm starting to project. Well, I think I'm starting the reflection portion of my rant. Feel free to stop reading, it could get messy (not to mention very scattered, with more parenthetical references than normal, and, oh yeah, cheesy). 27 is like a red jeep-it's still invested in being cool, doesn't care that it could have better gas mileage because it looks good, and, did I mention, it looks really cool? 28 is like a volkswagen golf- it likes knowing that it's stylish but doesn't care what other people think, it's proud of the fact that it gets good gas mileage, and it's writing to the manufacturers about how it can continue to get better gas mileage. So maybe I'm more into the numerology thing that I thought.
It occurred to me this week that is was 10 years ago to the day that I graduated from Orofino High School this May 28th. Whether or not this numerical coincidence has anything to do with where I'm at now is unknowable, but I do feel a parallel sense of commencement and graduation. In the past year, I finally held a job for a full year (In 2005- I had 6 different jobs in one year). I got myself organized enough to apply to 9 different PhD psychology programs (this coming from the guy who still forgets to bring enough underwear on most trips). I lived with my grandparents for 5 months and actually was able to help grandma start to eat somewhat more healthily (I still think it was your bread recipe mom). I was accepted into a PhD program in Tennessee (can't wait to start wearing nothing but bright orange clothes). And I was able to save enough money to be sitting where I am, writing in my blog in Mexico. Not bad for one year.
As for the year to come- I think my vision is pretty simple and clear. When May rolls around next year I'd like to be able to say a few things about my year. Here' s my rough list
1. Create a healthy balance between class and life (not that the two are mutually exclusive). This looks like having a solid routine with sleep, exercise, eating, studying, and being social (and that order actually is probably perfectly indicative of which things have to happen in order for me to be a focused student). Overall- I want to finish the first year feeling like I created a sustainable pace and a routine that keeps me healthy.
2. I want to live for a full year in my own place and create a space that I feel at home in (having lots of fun envisioning the various assortment of thrift store dishes and things to fill that space with).
3. I want to have an operational working idea for my master's thesis (I'm getting better at this goal stuff).
4. I want to find some team(s) to play on (could be ultimate, basketball, tennis, or all of the above).
5. I want to have had several adventures in the smoky mountains (started vague- finished somewhat vague).
Not a bad list for just making it up. But again, this is one of my reasons for appreciating birthdays- they always call me to take the time craft a vision for the next year. And when it all comes down to it- what's the old line- your life is about a great as you make it. Again, birthdays are more or less three things for me: a chance simply give thanks for life period; reflect on all that happened in the last year; and to take the time to dare to craft a vision for the year ahead.
I am so thankful for life. More so than anything else this year, my time with you grandma, watching you more or less at the end of your life, I was reminded everyday just how precious each day truly is. Thank you for that gift Grandma. Grandpa- I love your vehement insistence on dispelling the myth of trying to live everyday like it's your last. I love your simple take on that sort of immature approach to trying to live life fully. Live everyday like it's your first.
This past year taught me a lot of other great things too. Here's a few: following through on commitments is pretty much always better than not (I said I would work at Three Rivers for a year and I did); it's important to pay attention to the window's of opportunity (I got to live with my dear, old grandparents for 5 months- time that won't come again); family is immeasurably important (lots of examples for this one- but Phil and Ali- your willingess to ask me to come and help with Gabi is what I'm thinking most about); and even though dreams aren't always perfectly clear, pursue them (I spent a lot of time waiting, wondering if school was right for me- the irony has been that in the pursuit of it- things have become clearer). That's more or less it.
Sorry that this turned into a page from Dr. Phil's journal- but I warned you all.
I am so excited about this next year.
But my new spiritual practice has been to say a small prayer of thanks at the beginning and end of everyday.
After all, all of this is a gift.
Thanks be to our Mother
So clearly this entry turned into Dr. Phil Hallmark stuff- but I warned you. I hope
No comments:
Post a Comment