I turn, look, and see the largest wave I've ever seen. It's still far enough out that I'm pretty sure I could beat it to shore and escape. But there's a small and real chance that I'll get picked up right before making it to safety and thrown into the sand like a rag doll. I'm not so excited about that possibility, so I take a moment to breathe deep, close my eyes, and say a little prayer. The prayer goes something like: "Dear lord baby Jesus (not really- just threw that in), give me the courage to ride this one out."
Then I take another deep breath, properly position myself on my board, and get ready to ride the wave of my life.
OK I know this may seem melodramatic (of course it is), but this is the perfect analogy for my current graduate school experience. I promise I'll drop the surfing analogy- just give me a second. Seriously, today I finally saw and fully appreciated the power of the PhD ocean. The time for hanging out on the small waves is done. Time to dig deep and find the courage to ride the waves that really challenge me as a rider. Ok I'm done.
This is all to say that the amount of work that goes into successfully navigating a PhD program (specifcally when you are 6 yeas removed from school and have only just learned how to use Microsoft Excel as well as Powerpoint). Jesus Lord. That's become my new go-to phrase. Sorry if I offend anyone. Actually, now that I think about it, I probably should stop using that. My ethics class has me paying much more attention to everything I say, communicate, and do. Which, I think, is a good thing.
OK back to the analogy...I knew this wave was gonna be a big one. I even chose it. Truth is, I'm ready to do my best Laird Hamilton. I just hope that I don't chip my tooth on my board.
weiner, thanks again.. I know I thank you alot for your blogs. Once again. it gives me better insight into your days. I LOVE THIS. Remember when DJ stole Darleens diary? I feel like I've got the means to get into your head a bit. thanks sonny boy.. please keep it up.
ReplyDeleteSo I sense you are a bit overwhelmed now but as you say . you knew it would be a big jump. GO for it son. You have all it takes to do this program and once again... your gifts lie here... you will have some bullshit you won't like within the program.. but you'll have to jump those hoops too.
This last flight from overseas... was sweet.. in the sense of nostalgia... and closing up an era for me. I just kept saying goodbye over and over in many ways as I drifted off in my head... on the zen.. of being stuck in a tiny seat for 10 hours.. personal space is certainly challenged in this situation. So now being with granny (she is higher than a kite at Peter and my presence.. it is just so great.) She has mentioned several times her gratefullness and closeness to you because of the time spent. She and I sang and played some "familiar" hymns on the piano.. she is just a hoot..
Good talks with Gramps. who has some concerns (financial) about his gift to you. I'd like to schedule a time to talk with you about this. Could you perhaps call me at your convenience.. ? or I could call you.. I am working on a phone service today..(no number as of yet) also looking for a place to live ..love ya sonny boy.. and hesky den.. as well as carpe diem.. love you too much. mom